Dr. Dara Bushman is a psychologist and author who appears on numerous media outlets sharing expertise on COVID counseling, trauma, and wellness. She lives in Asheville, NC. This is a contributor-submitted Voices piece. Want to join the conversation? We invite you to write for us. Learn how to share your voice here.

As the season changes and the holidays approach, it is the time for us to be the change and keep or shiFt together.

Are your days running together? Are you wondering whether this pandemic-orama (a pandemic that feels like it will never end!) will stop and you can stop feeling like you’re in a daze? Or are you in disbelief this is even happening? Are you happy with where you are at and how you are feeling?

It is time to pause! It is a time of renewal. It is a time to be the change we wish to see in the world, to quote Mahatma Ghandi. It is time to shiFt and clear out emotional clutter.

It’s typically thrilling to prepare for the holidays, and usually we worry about being perfect and being the hostess with the mostest for events, but that feels impossible this year. We were supposed to have holiday cheer. And now that time has come and gone. But it does not have to be.

Yes, there is chaos going on, but chances are, if you are totally overwhelmed, this pandemic is the icing on the cake — not the whole problem. And who the hell thought we would be dealing with it in October? You were overwhelmed before this happened. Truth be told, it is this pandemic that is putting things in a different perspective. Now is the time to clear the clutter from the roots in your life. That means all the things that don’t work — including relationships, thoughts, and beliefs.

When we clear out a closet, we feel liberated. Let’s clear accumulated gunk in your brain like a closet! Time for a spring-fall cleaning physically and emotionally with people, thoughts, toxic relationships, or anything that no longer serves us.

Let shiFt go. Sometimes we think things will change or we will need them again one day. But the weight of keeping them or it around outweighs the slight chance we might want it again. Does it fit who we are now anyway? Will it fit into our life as we move into change after this pandemic?

What can we clear to make room for new? I’m sitting writing this as my kids are softly playing, and the television is on in the background. I am experiencing a new kind of exhausted.

I am thinking how I have been practicing social distancing all my life and now it is finally in style!

I am a kindergarten and 2nd grade part-time virtual teacher now, I grab my laptop anytime I can. Whether it is to peek at emails, write a sentence in my book, or text a friend back. Desperate attempts hoping to catch up or contribute to something.

Now, I know I shouldn’t admit how distracted I am or how much I try to work. It’s not cool or empowHERing to admit what it really takes to make my life run. (To be honest, I’d much rather say I am completely engulfed playing Legos and totally present with a nomination for new teacher of the year!)

But I won’t back away from sharing seeds of healing and wellness and keeping my shiFT together. It just looks different right now:

I barely know what day of the week it is
I send most emails when my kids are sleeping
I often feel rushed or like I cannot get things done fast enough — or good enough for that matter (chronic enoughtis)
I respond to social media comments while making breakfast and lunches, between lessons, while they ride their bikes, and anytime there is a second
Most days lunch is the same and dinner from a microwave
Sometimes I cry when I get so tired and swear “I can’t do anymore or feel the sadness of our global reality”
I still get mad that I had COVID and the magnitude to which it affected my family despite my efforts to keep us safe.
The thought of researching one more on line educational program or work out class I should do is overwhelming and nauseating
I order groceries online because the lines at the supermarket made me crazy before there was a pandemic. Forget about it now!! (Thank you Instacart!)

I know life won’t always look like this (nor do I want it to be the norm), but--for now--this is the reality.

On days when you feel like you can’t get it all done...on mornings you snooze an extra few minutes and don’t work out…on nights when you don’t sneak in extra work even though you swore you would stay up late, but instead watch Netflix, it’s ok. And to the people in your life that feel like they suck the last remaining morsels of energy out of you with their drama and call to complain how awful their life is or only want to talk about the awfulness…I feel you.

You’re not alone.

On rough (but glorious) days of doing something we love, let’s remember:

How far we’ve come. Have P.P. Parties (Permission to play)
Whatever feels icky is just gunk or information stuck in our brain, it is not who we are
The past is the past and giving it energy and thought only brings it to present
The future is just what it is, ahead of us, not now
How special it is to be supported by people who believe in us

Let’s keep our shiFt together- together!! You can email me, dara@drdara.com and stay connected on social media Facebook and IG @truthwithdrdara