Calling all smooth criminals. Take a perusal of these curious Virginia laws that you may not have heard before.

Watch where you spit

It’s illegal to expectorate, or spit, in public in the state of Virginia. This includes public buildings, sidewalks, alleys, and pretty much anywhere the public would gather. This act is considered a Class 4 misdemeanor and may result in a fine.

Speak wisely

If you’re known to have a potty mouth, you'd better think twice. In the state of Virginia, it’s illegal to use vulgar language over the phone or a citizens' band radio.

Respect the Smithfield ham

You’re not allowed to label and advertise a ham as a Smithfield ham if it isn’t a genuine Smithfield ham. What makes it authentic? It must be produced in Smithfield, Virginia, of course.

As the "Ham Capital of the World," Smithfield takes the topic of ham very seriously. A local museum even hosts the World's Oldest Ham, which you can carefully observe on a 24/7 live stream. | Photo via Flikr, Joe Schumacher

"First dibs”

Let’s debunk some road rage fuel. In Richmond and several other Virginia municipalities, it's against the law to steal a parallel parking spot from another driver. If an individual is already lined up to back into a spot, they get “first dibs.”

No clowning around

Want to host a carnival in Charlottesville? Dating back to a 1976 law, you'd better drop off the ol’ $50-a-day deposit with the city treasurer. If not, you could get slapped with a Class 2 misdemeanor.

Alleyway snowball fights

More generally, this law in Richmond’s municipal code calls for no playing or throwing objects in public streets or alleys — that checks out — but we were struck by the particular mention of “snowballs."

Know another weird law that should be on our list? It’d be a crime not to tell us.