October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

The latest state rankings indicate that South Carolina is 5th in the nation for deaths of women by men. According to Becky Callaham, Safe Harbor's Executive Director, the vast majority of the deaths occurred as a result of domestic violence.

In fact, Greenville County leads the state in domestic violence arrests.

We spoke with Becky about the shocking statistics, Safe Harbor's work, and how the community as a whole help stop the cycle of violence.

Q&A with Becky Callaham, Safe Harbor Executive Director (with GVLtoday Engagement Editor, Mary Willson) –

MW: First, tell me about Safe Harbor's services and mission.

BC: We provide intervention services for victims and their children at whatever place they are on the continuum of the need for help, including safe emergency shelter, counseling, legal advocacy, and transitional housing. Additionally, we are committed to ending the generational and systemic problem
of domestic violence in our community, so we provide community outreach and teen dating violence education in Greenville, Pickens, Anderson, and Oconee counties. Lastly, we have a Resale Shop located at 2111 North Pleasantburg Drive. Our clients can shop for free and sales of the store go back into the direct services and programs of Safe Harbor.

Plus, to provide a continuum of services for victims of domestic violence and their children; and eliminate cultural acceptance of domestic violence through a coordinated community response, prevention and education.

MW: What exactly is domestic violence?

BC: A pattern of abusive behaviors that is assaultive or coercive, directed by adults or adolescents towards their intimate partners. It’s important to remember that although domestic violence includes physical or sexual abuse that causes pain or harm, domestic abuse can be abuse that is emotional or psychological. The key is that there is a pattern of behaviors that an abuser uses to gain/maintain control over the victim. Just because it may not meet the legal and criminal criteria for a physical assault, the abuse impacts the victim in significant ways, causing fear, isolation, declining sense of self-worth and confusion about what is “normal”.

MW: How does S.C. compare to other states in rates of domestic violence and how prevalent is violence against women in Greenville?

BC: The latest state rankings indicate that South Carolina is 5th in the nation for deaths of women by men. The vast majority of the deaths occurred as a result of domestic violence. The latest numbers we have for incidents of domestic violence assaults show Greenville as the SC county with the most domestic violence arrests. Note: domestic violence is difficult to track because each system defines it differently. Additionally, most domestic abuse victims do not report their victimization, especially the first or second time it happens.

And domestic violence isn’t just happening to people who are married or living together. Increasingly, dating violence has become prevalent, with 1 in 3 teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their partner. Girls ages 16-24 are at the highest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence.

MW: How do you see domestic violence affecting the Greenville community at large?

BC: It’s a quiet epidemic that is rarely talked about unless there is a violent incident that occurs that gets our attention. However, one in four women will be affected by domestic violence in her lifetime, so chances are that it affects more people we know than we may be aware. We are programmed to be afraid of the stranger in the alley, but in reality, a woman is in more danger in her own home than anywhere else; domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women, more than all muggings, stranger rapes, and car accidents combined.

Domestic violence creates poverty for many women. Most women who are homeless are so because they are or have been victims of domestic violence. These victims need safe shelter and access to employment and affordable housing. As Greenville becomes more aware and strategic about addressing the needs of those who are homeless, we need to make sure that we include victims of domestic violence also.

Domestic violence takes a toll on children who witness it. The chaos in their homes keeps them from being able to focus on being a kid and concentrating in school. They miss school and drop out, which affects our overall graduation rates and long term employability.

Domestic violence is a public health issue. Adult victims suffer from a host of long-term health problems such as heart disease, chronic pain, stress disorders, and arthritis, increasing health care costs for everyone. Some studies estimate the total annual physical and mental health care cost in the U.S. exceeds $8 billion.

Domestic violence doesn’t just affect the individual lives of its victims. It can negatively affect business’ bottom line too. A national study found that $1.14 billion and 7.9 million work days were lost due to domestic violence.

MW: What are long terms effects of domestic violence on families and children?

BC: Domestic violence is a learned behavior, so witnessing domestic violence increases one’s risk factor for abuse in later relationships.

Additionally, we are learning that the effects of witnessing abuse in childhood increases one’s likelihood to experience significant physical health problems as adults.

MW: I know you're involved with community outreach and teen dating violence education. Why is this important and how can it impact the cycle of domestic violence?

BC: Because domestic violence is learned behavior, respectful relationships can also be learned. Our dating violence prevention program teaches kids healthy relationship behaviors during that significant time in their lives when they are beginning to date. It’s not enough for us to teach girls the warning signs of an abusive partner, we need to teach kids how to understand and practice what having respectful and healthy relationships looks and feels like. By investing in prevention, we can not only reduce the need for additional intervention later on, but more importantly, save lives.

Additionally, as adults who live in Greenville, we all have a responsibility for promoting respectful relationships and holding each other accountable for any type of disrespect toward the people who are supposed to love each other. It should be a basic right to feel safe and valued in our relationships and in our own homes. It’s not just a private matter. The health and safety of the women and children in our communities’ are at stake.

MW: What are ways that community members at large can get involved supporting victims and programs in the Upstate?

BC: Learn more about domestic violence by going to our website: safeharborsc.org.

Volunteer at Safe Harbor. Ask for a speaker at your community meeting, faith community or workplace. Donate to and shop at Safe Harbor’s resale shop. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram. Consider a monetary donation.

MW: What are resources that victims can use if they are experiencing domestic violence or know someone who is?

BC: Safe Harbor’s hotline is available for you to talk or ask questions about domestic abuse. We are here 24/7, even if you don’t want to or aren’t ready to get help. Call us at 1-800-291-2139. If you need to talk, you can get counseling for free in any one of the counties we serve. The most important thing is your safety. Call us or check our website to develop a safety plan. We want you to know that abuse is not your fault and that we are here to help whenever you are ready to talk.

MW: Is there anything else you want us to know about this issue in Greenville?

BC: Although there is so much work to do to improve the safety of victims of domestic violence in Greenville, I am optimistic that if any community can move the needle toward improvement, we can do it here.