What did the Portland gardener do when they were asked to come into work early?

They rose to the occasion.

Badum-tis. Okay, one more.

Which Portland bridge has the best sense of humor?

The Ha-Ha-Hawthorne Bridge.

*Spits out a mouthful of Water Avenue Coffee.*

Our apologies for catching you unawares with such hilarity so early in the morning (or whenever you're reading this).

If you're unfamiliar with the art of the dad joke, you must not have read the Merriam-Webster dictionary in 2019, which defined the new entry as "a wholesome joke of the type said to be told by fathers with a punchline that is often an obvious or predictable pun or play on words and usually judged to be endearingly corny or unfunny."

Bit wordy, that.

Whether it's in the contract when fathers take their child home from the hospital, or some unexplained phenomenon that manifests out of the charcoals during backyard barbecues, the world may never know.

What we do know, is that our readers are funny. So, in honor of Father's Day, we want to hear your best Portland-themed dad jokes. Give us those eye-rolling puns, laughably unfunny punchlines, and cringy one-liners.

The best submissions will get an Instagram shoutout on the big day.