What would Asheville be like if the city announced a ban on craft beer? Or if a bicycle moratorium went into effect? We asked you what the wildest citywide pranks would be — and you did not disappoint.

“The baseball team is changing its name to The Asheville Stoners (sponsored by the hemp industry of course)” — Jackie P.

“I-26 to be completed by the end of April.” — @_the_mountain-gobi

“Airbnbs and homes shares of any kind are illegal.” — Stephanie E.

“All breweries must, by law, provide free chocolates for non beer drinkers.” — @l1011fa

“The Hot Spot has decided to reopen.” — Burns B.

“Orange Peel and The Grey Eagle to turn into a Wendy’s and McDonalds. — @theslowexotic

“New tax on people who have lived in Asheville less than 5 years. Additional tax for people who moved from Florida.” — Gigi W.

“No more cat weirdos.” —@doublehjewels

“1- County-wide boycott of kale. 2- The use of patchouli is now illegal in all 50 states. 3-New gluten-free, kale-infused hemp beer to hit the shelves soon.” — Lisa K.

“Asheville City Council will not approve hotel construction for the next 10 years.” — @inverted_lantern

“Amazon buys Highland Brewing.” — Rick B.

“No more Subarus!” –@avlcreekr

“Parking prices increasing.” — Pia S.

“Only double IPAs are allowed to be brewed.” — @angelxadame

“All greenways will be closed indefinitely while stakeholders decide if the land would be better used as available to developers looking for land for upscale condos.” — Micah N.

“Only dogs from backyard breeders allowed in Asheville. All rescue dogs banned.” — @drunkwithpugs

All we have to say is that we’re happy these are fake situations. Asheville just wouldn’t be the same if we had no Cat Weirdos or greenways.